Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[MEA_1956]

Smile

Just woundering if there was any body posting pictures in their profile under their album page. Maybe somehow we could have a list posted so it's not a guss and bygollie kinda thing. Thanks Marlin

Just in case you are woundering that is a dutch oven in my av. space. We had a shrimp stur fry that night and boy was it GOOD.

[Websman]

If I was allowed to laugh, I would think this was funny....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mArGzsNglCU&eurl=http://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9329&page=3

[Websman]

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED......,


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said,

'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...



------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

So, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----




My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a

drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up

those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


I took my w ife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- ---

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- ------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at nigh t than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.

I told her not as much as the dress she 0wore yesterday

and then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man

'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.

He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the

woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight ;started.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into

the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered

that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,

'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.=2 0

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we

were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

[billyjoe]

I read my wife webs post on fun stuff/ off topic

and then the fight started

----------billy

[Websman]

I read my wife webs post on fun stuff/ off topic

and then the fight started

----------billy

My wife is out of town for a few days...I'm safe for now.

[Peter Hansen]

Did you lnow that?

Stewardesses' is the longest word
typed with only the left hand.


And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed
with your right hand.
(Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)




No word in the English language rhymes with
month , orange, silver, or purple.

' Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
(Are you doubting this?)

our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears

never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the
lazy dog'
uses every letter of the alphabet.
(Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they
are read left to right
or right to left (palindromes).
(Yep, I knew yo u were going to 'do' this one.)


There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
(You're not possibly doubting this, are you ?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'
(Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)


TYPEWRITER is the longest word that
can be made using the letters only on one row
of the keyboard.
(All you typists are going to test this out)


A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.




A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds .
(Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
(I know some people that could do this too.!)


Almonds are a member of the peach family.



An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also . Actually I know A LOT of people like this!)
Babies are born without kneecaps.
They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years
of age.


February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors



Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.


The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.



The cruise liner, QE 2,

moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate
bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he did that.)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls
froze completely solid .


There are more chickens than people
in the world.
Winston Churchill

was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.


Now you know more than you did before!!


The Rain-Thomas Kinkade


This is a Thomas Kinkade painting It's rumored to carry a miracle!
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle.
I am passing this on because I thought it was really pretty,
and besides, who couldn't use a miracle?!

[billyjoe]

Pete,
Maybe those 2 scoundrels would shovel snow at my new house if I ever get it. Latest information : Oklahoma company will auction Ohio house at 9:45 A.M. January 22nd. Buyer pays $1500 closing costs plus 5% buyers premium on top of high bid. Bidding starts at $10,000. I'll be there and will report back results. Prospective bidders can inspect house 3 days before sale and morning of sale. All sales are "as is"


------------billy

The dream is over . House sold for 71K and the buyers premium would have been $3000 regardless of sales price plus closing costs of 2-3%. it needed lots of work.

[Peter Hansen]

All for the better

The dream is over . House sold for 71K and the buyers premium would have been $3000 regardless of sales price plus closing costs of 2-3%. it needed lots of work.

Billie it will all work out for the good . I am sure that house will sell for less 6 months for now ......YOU did the right thing ! Good Luck ! Pete !

[Peter Hansen]

Now dats italian!

FRIENDS VS ITALIAN FRIENDS
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking,
> >> laughing, and just being
> >> together.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes
> >> from you.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the
> >> crowd is doing.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's back-ends
> >> that left you.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Will knock on your door.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say,'I'm
> >> home!'
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Will visit you in jail
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Will spend the night in jail with you.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Will visit you in the hospital when you're
> >> sick
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Will cut your grass and clean your house
> >> then come spend
> >> the night with you in the hospital.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Have your number memorized
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Are for a while.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS: Are for life.
> >>
> >> FRIENDS: Might ignore this.
> >> ITALIAN FRIENDS will forward this to their ITALIAN friends
> >> and those who
wish they were ITALIAN

[Peter Hansen]

Ever hear a pin drop?

You could have heard a pin drop
When in England, at a fairly large
conference, Condi Rice was asked by
the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans
for Iraq were just an example
of empire building' by George Bush.
She answered by saying, 'Over the years, the
United States has sent many
of its fine young men and women into great
peril to fight for freedom beyond
our borders. The only amount of land we
have ever asked for in return
is enough to bury those that did not
return.'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a conference in France where a
number of international engineers
were taking part, including French and
American. During a break, one of the
French engineers came back into the room
saying 'Have you heard the latest
dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an
aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help
the tsunami victims. What does he intended
to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied
quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals
on board that can treat several hundred
people; they are nuclear powered and
can supply emergency electrical power to
shore facilities; they have three cafeterias
with the capacity to feed 3,000 people
three meals a day, they can produce several
thousand gallons of fresh water from sea
water each day, and they carry half a
dozen helicopters for use in transporting
victims and injured to and from their flight
deck. We have eleven such ships; how many
does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included Admirals
from the U.S. , English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail
reception, he found himself standing with
a large group of Officers that included
personnel from most of those countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English
as they sipped their drinks but a French
admiral suddenly complained that,
whereas Europeans learn many languages,
Americans learn only English.' He then
asked, 'Why is it that we always have to
speak English in these conferences rather
than speaking French?' Without
hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe
it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies
and Americans arranged it so you
wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE
ABOVE...
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83,
arrived in Paris by plane. At French
Customs, he took a few minutes to locate
his passport in his carry on. 'You have
been to France before, monsieur?' the
customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to
France previously. Then you should
know enough to have your passport ready.'
The American said, ''The last time I was
here, I didn't have to show it. 'Impossible.
Americans always have to show your
passports on arrival in France !' The American
senior gave the Frenchman a long hard
look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well,
when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day
in 1944 to help liberate this country,
I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show
a passport to.'
You could have heard a pin drop.


If you are proud, pass this on!
If not delete it.

[Karel]

The first story originally (and correctly) featured Colin Powell, but I gather he dropped out of grace. It also ignores the real life nuance to set up a tear jerker, see: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/powell.asp

The French bashing stories seem to have risen in popularity since France refused to cooperate in the Iraq war, strangely enough ignoring that the French still are allies in Afghanistan.

If there is one thing that alienates other people from Americans it is this "we were so good for them and they don't appreciate it" attitude. It is a good thing that sentiment isn't too widely spread. And as far as I know WWII veterans from the US are met with the deepest respect everywhere in Europe, so what was the problem again?

Regards,

Karel

[Lyehopper]

The first story originally (and correctly) featured Colin Powell, but I gather he dropped out of grace. It also ignores the real life nuance to set up a tear jerker, see: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/powell.asp

The French bashing stories seem to have risen in popularity since France refused to cooperate in the Iraq war, strangely enough ignoring that the French still are allies in Afghanistan.

If there is one thing that alienates other people from Americans it is this "we were so good for them and they don't appreciate it" attitude. It is a good thing that sentiment isn't too widely spread. And as far as I know WWII veterans from the US are met with the deepest respect everywhere in Europe, so what was the problem again?

Regards,

Karel

Karel.... Now tell me.... why does "our" proud "attitude" bother you so darned much?... When we could care less about your "pinko socialist attitude".
~Lye

[Karel]

Karel.... Now tell me.... why does "our" proud "attitude" bother you so darned much?... When we could care less about your "pinko socialist attitude".
~Lye

I have no problem with pride. Quite the opposite. What I have a problem with, is the pride "attitude" that can't seem to live without setting up antagonists in order to assert itself. If you win a war (together with your allies) be proud (and don't forget your allies; btw, this is usually where some proud US patriot pipes up to claim they won whatever war it was single-handedly).

If you single out the "proud facts" in the stories from Pete (copied from one of quite a lot of sites), there is no problem. But the stories do not live from those proud facts alone: they also need a sly archbishop of Canterbury, stupid French engineers and admirals, and boorish French customs officers. Couple that with the fact that Colin Powell in the first story was replaced by Condoleezza Rice in the current version, and it becomes quite likely that these stories are not about national pride at all, but that they use national pride as a vehicle for a political statement. Looking at the Powell/Rice change and the French bashing, quite probably about support for the Iraq War.

Regards,

Karel

[Lyehopper]

.....What I have a problem with, is the pride "attitude" that can't seem to live without setting up antagonists in order to assert itself.

Karel.... I'm sure Pete never meant to "antagonize" you with his little story, It pretty clear that Pete's a patriot.... And my comment was not meant as a personal attack on you either. When I said "you" I was speaking of the Euro Pinko Socialist who are antagonized by American pride, in a "collective" sense....
~Lye

[Karel]

Karel.... I'm sure Pete never meant to "antagonize" you with his little story, It pretty clear that Pete's a patriot.... And my comment was not meant as a personal attack on you either. When I said "you" I was speaking of the Euro Pinko Socialist who are antagonized by American pride, in a "collective" sense....
~Lye

OK Lye, no problem. And I hope it is clear that the target of my analysis is not so much Pete, as the people who whip up these stories. And if that was not clear, I hope it is now.

Regards,

Karel