Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[billyjoe]

Did your mother ever tell you to turn down the radio? Maybe this is why. This guy never learned his lesson. CAUTION contains profanity and other disturbing comments! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuVdhZINqks

-------------------billy

[Phoenix7]

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh, sir?”

[Phoenix7]

PEARLS OF WISDOM

FIVE BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into
prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without
working for, another person must
work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to
anybody anything that the
government does not first take
from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by
dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the
idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

[Phoenix7]

WHICH GIRL WOULD YOU MARRY?

A man wanted to get married, but he was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and wanted to see what they will do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. She tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money on the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

[riverbabe]

WHICH GIRL WOULD YOU MARRY?

I love it! So predictable!

[Phoenix7]

WHICH GIRL WOULD YOU MARRY?

I love it! So predictable!

River My choice would have been the 3rd one as long as she did not look like she could eat an apple through a picket fence! LOL

[Phoenix7]

Semper Fi


ARLINGTON CEMETERY




Jeopardy
Question:




On
Jeopardy the other night, the final question was
"How many steps does the guard take during his
walk across the tomb of the Unknowns?"
All three contestants missed it!
This is really an awesome sight to watch if you've never had the chance .
Fascinating. Tomb of the Unknown Soldier




1.
How many steps does the guard take during his
walk across the tomb of the Unknowns
and why?




21
steps:
It
alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which
is the
highest honor given any military or foreign
dignitary.







2.
How long does he hesitate after his about face
to begin his return
walk and why?






21
seconds for the same reason as answer number
1





3.
Why are his gloves wet?





His
gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his
grip on the rifle.







4.
Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all
the time
and, if
not, why not?




He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.





5.
How often are the guards changed?





Guards
are changed every thirty minutes,
twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a
year.





6.
What are the physical traits of the guard
limited to?




For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he
must be
between 5' 10' and 6' 2' tall and
his waist size cannot exceed 30.


They
must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb,
live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot
drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of
their lives. They cannot swear in public for the
rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the
uniform or the tomb in any way.


After
two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that
is worn on
their lapel signifying they
served as guard of the tomb. There are only
400 presently worn. The guard must obey
these rules for the rest of their
lives or
give up the wreath pin.


The
shoes are specially made with very thick soles
to keep the heat and cold from their feet.
There are metal heel plates that extend to
the top
of the shoe in order to make the loud click as
they come to a halt.




There are no
wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards
dress for duty
in front of a full-length
mirror.


The first six months of duty a
guard cannot talk to anyone nor
watch TV.
All off duty time is spent studying the 175
notable people laid
to rest in
Arlington National Cemetery ...
A guard must memorize who they are and where
they are interred. Among the notables are:




President Taft,
Joe Lewis {the boxer}
Medal of Honor winner Audie L. Murphy, the most
decorated soldier of WWII and of Hollywood fame.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty..
ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.




In
2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was
approaching Washington ,
DC , our
US Senate/House took 2 days
off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC
evening news, it was reported that because of
the dangers from the
hurricane, the military
members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb
of
the Unknown Soldier were given permission
to suspend the assignment. They




respectfully declined the offer, "No way,
Sir!" Soaked to the skin,
marching in the
pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that
guarding
the Tomb was not just an assignment,




it was the highest honor that can be
afforded
to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled
continuously,
24/7, since 1930.










God
Bless and keep them.

[jiesen]

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! Hope you all have plenty of meats and cheeses today, and all the rest!

[Phoenix7]

YA NEVER KNOW!

A guy is walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. "Twenty dollars" she whispers.

He had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.

They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I am making love to my wife, officer" answers the guy sounding annoyed.

"Oh I am sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Well, neither did I until you shined that light in her face."

[Phoenix7]

Bank Robbery
A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. As he was about to exit, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one man tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

[Phoenix7]

A farmhand went to church one Sunday, but when he entered he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the farmhand if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

"Well," said the farmhand, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd still feed him."

So the minister began his sermon. An hour passed, then two hours, then two and a half hours. Finally the preacher finished and asked the farmhand whether he had enjoyed the sermon.

"Well," said the farmhand, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

[Phoenix7]

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast too, if you had what I have."
"What do you have?" asks the bartender.
The guy answers, "75 cents."

[billyjoe]

My harddrive self destructed after 9 years. I'm on a laptop and have trouble running the mouse. New computer on the way. They are so cheap it's unbelievable.

------------------------billy

[billyjoe]

This is my first post with new computer. It cost $100 with free shipping, a new mouse, new keyboard, and windows. It got here in less than 48 hours from newegg. It's more powerful than my old one. How can they sell these so cheaply? Son says maybe they're overstocked and have to dump them. It's about 1/6th the size of my last computer. Name is Lenovo. Have to try and remember my old bookmarks.

-----------------------billy

[riverbabe]

This is my first post with new computer. It cost $100 with free shipping, a new mouse, new keyboard, and windows. It got here in less than 48 hours from newegg. It's more powerful than my old one. How can they sell these so cheaply? Son says maybe they're overstocked and have to dump them. It's about 1/6th the size of my last computer. Name is Lenovo. Have to try and remember my old bookmarks.

-----------------------billy

Congrats! I traded in my old XP laptop for a $100 rebate at Best Buy for an HP with Google OS, total $100 (with some other credits). Haven't learned it yet but will when I have time. My Dell desktop uses Vista so it should be good for a while. Lenovo is a good name.