Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[IIC]

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says,
Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His wife is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that that's a
sheep, you idiot".

The man says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you.

[Karel]

Hey Karel, what is this all about????



Giant Lego man found in Dutch sea
Wed Aug 8, 2007 10:23 AM ET

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A giant, smiling Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort on Tuesday.
Workers at a drinks stall rescued the 2.5-meter (8-foot) tall model with a yellow head and blue torso.
"We saw something bobbing about in the sea and we decided to take it out of the water," said a stall worker. "It was a life-sized Lego toy."
A woman nearby added: "I saw the Lego toy floating toward the beach from the direction of England."
The toy was later placed in front of the drinks stall.

Somebody needed attention and created the Lego man (who already made his appearance at a Dance festival) and a message about "share the beautiful things in your world", more or less. He is supposed to come from a virtual world were everything is nice and easy, and he was a bit worried about bad people intruding lately, so he decided to pay us a visit and pep us up, or something. He is called Ego Leonard; you could google for the name if you want to waste some time.

Good timing, as for news in general this is "cucumber" (slow) time.

Regards,

Karel

[IIC]

Talk like a 12 year old: http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files...ranslator.html




.

[Peter Hansen]

A+ papers EASY ....When Ya know how!

This may be slightly "Adult " in nature but funny; if that offends you please don't watch!
I always wondered why I got the proverbial "HooK" on my papers while the hot blond a few rows over always managed to get that "A" Hmmmmmmmm

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/2581

[peanuts]

Vick Jury

Even though he plead guilty, the jury selection was still made:

[Peter Hansen]

Dog Man's Best Friend....... NO Try A Mule?

: Man's Best Friend May Be a Mule



This is almost unbelievable!

This may be a first...


A couple from Montana were out riding on the range, he with his rifle and she (fortunately) with her camera. Their dogs always followed them, but on this occasion a Mountain Lion decided that he wanted to stalk the dogs (you'll see the dogs in the background watching). Very, very bad decision...

The hunter got off the mule with his rifle and decided to shoot in the air to scare away the lion, but before he could get off a shot the lion charged in and decided he wanted a piece of those dogs. With that, the mule took off and decided he wanted a piece of that lion. That's when all hell broke loose... for the lion.

As the lion approached the dogs the mule snatched him up by the tail and started whirling him around. Banging its head on the ground on every pass. Then he dropped it, stomped on it and held it to the ground by the throat. The mule then got down on his knees and bit the thing all over a couple of dozen times to make sure it was dead, then whipped it into the air again, walked back over to the couple (that were stunned in silence) and stood there ready to continue his ride... as if nothing had just happened.

[Peter Hansen]

Photos From Mule Story

http://www.dxstrategies.com/forums/index.php?t=getfile&id=38&

http://www.dxstrategies.com/forums/index.php?t=getfile&id=39&

http://www.dxstrategies.com/forums/index.php?t=getfile&id=40&

http://www.dxstrategies.com/forums/index.php?t=getfile&id=41&

[jiesen]

those are some awesome pics, pete! If that happened with me around, I'd be too dumbstruck to be able to pull my camera out and start snapping photos.

[Karel]

: Man's Best Friend May Be a Mule ...

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_mule_mountain_lion.htm

The links at the end of the story are worth following too.

Regards,

Karel

[Peter Hansen]

Having A Rough Day? These Rules May Help

Ideas for LIving




Life isn't fair, but it's still good.


When in doubt, just take the next small step.


Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.


Pay off your credit cards every month.


You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present .


Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.

Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or
get busy dying.



No one is in charge of your happiness except you.


Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five
years, will this matter?"


Forgive.


However good or bad a situation is, it will change.


Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.


Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.


Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.


Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

[IIC]

Your Medical Insurance Explained

Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative insurance.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $10 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next decade?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

[Peter Hansen]

"Go Ahead .......Make My Day"

Nice gadget to have when a terrorist comes "A CALLING "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGH2tSey0YE

[riverbabe]

I know this one is probably older than the hills, but I thought it might be nice for all of us to lighten up a bit after the last few weeks and, especially, yesterday. Hope you enjoy it again. Riverbabe


Subject: Golfing Tips


Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work , and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

SENIOR'S DAY AT THE COURSE



David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....
#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.

#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.

#7... Foursomes are encouraged.

#6... You can still make money doing it as a senior.

#5... Three times a day is possible.

#4... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#3... If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.

#2... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#1... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!

[billyjoe]

River,
Your post is very funny and it's all true. I used to golf and was pretty terrible at it , but it was fun. Already told the story here once that I hit a ball into a tree, the ball never came out but a squirrel fell to the ground. I never got a birdie in my career but got a fluke eagle when the ball bounced over a bridge and must have rolled 150 yards right into the cup.

-------------billyjoe

[Peter Hansen]

Gee That Mr Market urinal picture is funny!

Mr Market had better be careful........with a bad back and Doctor's orders to NEVER lift more than 10 lbs.......he may get into trouble there LOL