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The Dilbert tales: mine - and yours?
Years ago, Scott Adams, author of "Dilbert," put up a notice on his website that he wanted people to send him a bunch of stories about their weird experiences working in a cubicle. He was going to incorporate some of them in his upcoming Dilbert television show. A friend of mine claimed they saw a copy of my submission (which I also sent to that friend) on a computer screen behind Mr. Adams during a television interview. But that could just be the wishful thinking of a friend. Anyway, I don't remember them all, but one or two come to mind. Perhaps some of you could reply with your weird office tales in posts right here. Once again, I am not personally eligable to win this contest I'm judging. There are no formal prizes. Scott Adams, whose pockets are deeper than mine, didn't have any prizes either. The real hidden prize in this contest is that you get to "get off your chest" an old, weird office event you lived through and had to deal with. The contest will end on Friday midnight on March 23rd, 2007, as the AM hours of Saturday the 24th begin. I'll announce the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners that weekend. You will, like in my last writing contest, have bragging rights for your next beer bust or cocktail party or gathering at your office water cooler, etc. I have three examples of my own below. Once again, mine aren't allowed to be official entries in the contest.
Story 1: My first story took place when I was programming computers in Lower Manhattan in a secure Data Center building. It was Friday afternoon in mid-spring and I wanted to take a break and get a snack outside from a shop in the neighborhood. I threw my light overcoat over my shirt and went to a small grocery. When I returned, the guards refused to let me in the building because I was told there was a bomb scare. I asked them why didn't they evacuate the building earlier and not put both me and the remaining people still inside, as we talked, at risk. They said something about they wanted to continue production, but couldn't have me back upstairs warning the others. I had to wear the same suit pants in to work on Monday because my jacket still was sitting on the back of my desk chair over the weekend. I don't know if this became the basis for a Dilbert episode, but it would have fit perfectly.
Story 2: This was (and is) a new, very modern data center that a sheer glass modern architecture front that went down to the ground, facing flush against the revolving doors. In the first big flash spring rainstorm that occurred after it was built, I had to pause for a moment to close my umbrella at the entrance and got thoroughly soaked. At a meeting, I said that bodegas/small groceries designed 50 years ago had an awning that kept you from getting soaked and this wasn't progress. After a while, they did build a Plexiglas awning over the entrance to avoid that problem.
Story 3: I eventually left this firm for another. One of things that peeved me from the previous winter was the fact that the company was delaying paying its small year end bonus to the programmers until late Jan.-early Feb. In the meantime, the NY Giants had won the 1986 Superbowl. Mayor Koch rightfully said he could not justify the expense of a parade in New York City because the New Jersey-based Giants did not bring in any revenue to New York. He was right: his critics would have devoured him. My company, among others, had offered to pay for the parade in New York. All this occurred while I was waiting for my small bonus. Some of you may know that computer programmers can be called in the middle of the night to either fix a program of theirs on the phone or go immediately to the office to work on it. At my exit interview from the company, I mentioned the delay in the bonus the previous year and said that the next time one of their programs doesn't work, they should call up (then Giant quarterback) Phil Simms to fix it, since he was getting our bonus money. The personnel guy even laughed at that one.
OK, so do any of you have a bizarre Dilbert-like story to add here?
Years ago, Scott Adams, author of "Dilbert," put up a notice on his website that he wanted people to send him a bunch of stories about their weird experiences working in a cubicle. He was going to incorporate some of them in his upcoming Dilbert television show. A friend of mine claimed they saw a copy of my submission (which I also sent to that friend) on a computer screen behind Mr. Adams during a television interview. But that could just be the wishful thinking of a friend. Anyway, I don't remember them all, but one or two come to mind. Perhaps some of you could reply with your weird office tales in posts right here. Once again, I am not personally eligable to win this contest I'm judging. There are no formal prizes. Scott Adams, whose pockets are deeper than mine, didn't have any prizes either. The real hidden prize in this contest is that you get to "get off your chest" an old, weird office event you lived through and had to deal with. The contest will end on Friday midnight on March 23rd, 2007, as the AM hours of Saturday the 24th begin. I'll announce the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners that weekend. You will, like in my last writing contest, have bragging rights for your next beer bust or cocktail party or gathering at your office water cooler, etc. I have three examples of my own below. Once again, mine aren't allowed to be official entries in the contest.
Story 1: My first story took place when I was programming computers in Lower Manhattan in a secure Data Center building. It was Friday afternoon in mid-spring and I wanted to take a break and get a snack outside from a shop in the neighborhood. I threw my light overcoat over my shirt and went to a small grocery. When I returned, the guards refused to let me in the building because I was told there was a bomb scare. I asked them why didn't they evacuate the building earlier and not put both me and the remaining people still inside, as we talked, at risk. They said something about they wanted to continue production, but couldn't have me back upstairs warning the others. I had to wear the same suit pants in to work on Monday because my jacket still was sitting on the back of my desk chair over the weekend. I don't know if this became the basis for a Dilbert episode, but it would have fit perfectly.
Story 2: This was (and is) a new, very modern data center that a sheer glass modern architecture front that went down to the ground, facing flush against the revolving doors. In the first big flash spring rainstorm that occurred after it was built, I had to pause for a moment to close my umbrella at the entrance and got thoroughly soaked. At a meeting, I said that bodegas/small groceries designed 50 years ago had an awning that kept you from getting soaked and this wasn't progress. After a while, they did build a Plexiglas awning over the entrance to avoid that problem.
Story 3: I eventually left this firm for another. One of things that peeved me from the previous winter was the fact that the company was delaying paying its small year end bonus to the programmers until late Jan.-early Feb. In the meantime, the NY Giants had won the 1986 Superbowl. Mayor Koch rightfully said he could not justify the expense of a parade in New York City because the New Jersey-based Giants did not bring in any revenue to New York. He was right: his critics would have devoured him. My company, among others, had offered to pay for the parade in New York. All this occurred while I was waiting for my small bonus. Some of you may know that computer programmers can be called in the middle of the night to either fix a program of theirs on the phone or go immediately to the office to work on it. At my exit interview from the company, I mentioned the delay in the bonus the previous year and said that the next time one of their programs doesn't work, they should call up (then Giant quarterback) Phil Simms to fix it, since he was getting our bonus money. The personnel guy even laughed at that one.
OK, so do any of you have a bizarre Dilbert-like story to add here?
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