Portfolio of the Week

[Lyehopper]

David Hasselhoff: You really think those Green Beret Karate tricks are gonna help you against all these boys?
Billy Jack: Well, it doesn't look to me like I really have any choice now, does it?
David hasselhoff: [laughing] That's right, you don't.
Billy Jack: You know what I think I'm gonna do then? Just for the hell of it?
David Hasselhoff: Tell me.
Billy Jack: I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face...
[points to Hasselhoff's right cheek]
Billy Jack: ...and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it.
David Hasselhoff: Really?
Billy Jack: Really.

http://www.badmovies.org/multimedia/movies6/billyjack1.mpg

[IIC]

I finally figured out who Peanuts really is...He is not in the biz of giving stock advice...He is Dear Abby...(Hope there's nothing nasty here...I didn't read the whole thing...But in reading a couple...I think this is his REAL Deal)... http://jackbarn.net/peanutguy/

BTW...I liked your Planter's Peanuts avatar better. http://www.planters.com/

[peanuts]

I finally figured out who Peanuts really is...He is not in the biz of giving stock advice...He is Dear Abby...(Hope there's nothing nasty here...I didn't read the whole thing...But in reading a couple...I think this is his REAL Deal)... http://jackbarn.net/peanutguy/

BTW...I liked your Planter's Peanuts avatar better. http://www.planters.com/

Doug, it sounds like you need some answers. What's on your mind?


If you didn't know, IIC is Doug,
When markets are down, give him a hug

[peanuts]

http://www.badmovies.org/multimedia/...billyjack1.mpg

Lye,

How long did it take you to copy that clip? Did you have to watch the whole movie? I'm glad I changed my avatar. Billy Jack doesn't stand a chance against Fezzik, or Andre the Giant.


Billy Jack cannot fight,
against a giant's awesome might

[IIC]

Doug, it sounds like you need some answers. What's on your mind?


If you didn't know, IIC is Doug,
When markets are down, give him a hug

I have a friend, named Buck, who's wife left him 2 years ago...He stayed in the house on a nice suburban street...Before long he started going out with a sexy divorcee, Michelle, who lived 3 doors down...They were both 48...But after about 2 months her daughter, Tamika, who is 26 started coming on to him when Michelle was out from 6:30am to 1:00pm at one of those day trading Boiler Room places...Buck called me for advice about 10 mins ago...He is "Perplexed in Playa del Rey"...I told him that I wasn't really qualified to offer advice...But that I know this guy named Peanuts who could probably help him outta his predicament...So what advice can you offer my friend "Perplexed?"

Thanks for your assistance.

[peanuts]

I have a friend, named Buck, who's wife left him 2 years ago...He stayed in the house on a nice suburban street...Before long he started going out with a sexy divorcee, Michelle, who lived 3 doors down...They were both 48...But after about 2 months her daughter, Tamika, who is 26 started coming on to him when Michelle was out from 6:30am to 1:00pm at one of those day trading Boiler Room places...Buck called me for advice about 10 mins ago...He is "Perplexed in Playa del Rey"...I told him that I wasn't really qualified to offer advice...But that I know this guy named Peanuts who could probably help him outta his predicament...So what advice can you offer my friend "Perplexed?"

Thanks for your assistance.

hmmmm, 26 is hard to pass on...

Tell "Buck" this:

Have Buck make up a story about Michelle hitting it really big in the stock market and that because she wants her leach, I mean daughter, out of her own house and to begin her own life, that Michele is planning to buy a house for Tamika. All of this is supposed to be a surprise and Tamika will be getting her own house any time soon, but it will be a surprise that her mom will give her after all the money clears (which could be months, Buck should tell her- she's probably dumb). Tell Buck to pick up a drinking habit and go to massage classes. After Tamika starts believing his story, Buck should make his move on Tamika one day after he's been drinking. When they talk about the guilt afterwards, Buck needs to bring up how jealous Michele will be if she ever found out and that he doubts whether Tamika will ever get the house after Michele finds out. This way, Tamika will be afraid of telling her mom about the relationship. Now that Buck has a drinking habit and takes massage classes, he can head over to Michele's house a little early every day and keep up the relationship with Tamika and when Michele gets home, he can give her a massage- keeping her oblivious to the real story, and happy and relaxed to get a massage every day after work. While he is living the high life, he needs to be looking for another house. Because, eventually, the crap will hit the fan. And, he should be able to get rid of the house before Michele has a chance to burn it down. He should be able to use the excuse of having a drinking problem for at least a week. The relationship can last for months...



IIC has a beautiful wife,
but the computer consumes most of his life

[IIC]

hmmmm, 26 is hard to pass on...

Tell "Buck" this:

Have Buck make up a story about Michelle hitting it really big in the stock market and that because she wants her leach, I mean daughter, out of her own house and to begin her own life, that Michele is planning to buy a house for Tamika. All of this is supposed to be a surprise and Tamika will be getting her own house any time soon, but it will be a surprise that her mom will give her after all the money clears (which could be months, Buck should tell her- she's probably dumb). Tell Buck to pick up a drinking habit and go to massage classes. After Tamika starts believing his story, Buck should make his move on Tamika one day after he's been drinking. When they talk about the guilt afterwards, Buck needs to bring up how jealous Michele will be if she ever found out and that he doubts whether Tamika will ever get the house after Michele finds out. This way, Tamika will be afraid of telling her mom about the relationship. Now that Buck has a drinking habit and takes massage classes, he can head over to Michele's house a little early every day and keep up the relationship with Tamika and when Michele gets home, he can give her a massage- keeping her oblivious to the real story, and happy and relaxed to get a massage every day after work. While he is living the high life, he needs to be looking for another house. Because, eventually, the crap will hit the fan. And, he should be able to get rid of the house before Michele has a chance to burn it down. He should be able to use the excuse of having a drinking problem for at least a week. The relationship can last for months...



IIC has a beautiful wife,
but the computer consumes most of his life

Whoa...You're good...I'm gonna call all 5,837 of my friends with problems and give them your email addy....If you want...I'll give my other 2 friends w/o problems your addy too.

My wife and I were cracking up...But she loved the end...She said that Peanuts really knows his stuff.....Glad you didn't accuse me of being my own friend...LOL

[Lyehopper]

.....Glad you didn't accuse me of being my own friend...LOL

............... http://new.wavlist.com/tv/002/a_fiend.wav

[Rob]

Prose

Peanuts rags on Billy Jack
Though I can't figure out just why
Because those movies were made back
'Fore Peanuts gleamed in mama's eye

[RL]

Rob please

put me In cash I have to take my bride shopping will not be able to keep track of the market

[skiracer]

put me In cash I have to take my bride shopping will not be able to keep track of the market

Oh sure Ray. A likely excuse to get into cash an a safe haven to protect that 17% gain you've got going and lock the rest of us out without any chance of your falling an us catching you. Boy what a guy.

[Lyehopper]

Oh sure Ray. A likely excuse to get into cash an a safe haven to protect that 17% gain you've got going and lock the rest of us out without any chance of your falling an us catching you. Boy what a guy.

LOL!.... Yeah, and all the lady members here sigh and think "what a great husband Ray is" to leave his beloved computer and take the wife..... WHAT?.... WHERE?.... SHOPPING!????....

You're freakin' killin' us here RAY LOOOOoooooooooOOONG!!!!

[billyjoe]

Ray,
Watch out for skiracer, HOM is kicking but and taking names.
billyjoe

[peanuts]

Dear Mr. Rob, Sir

cover NGA

Long XWG

[Rob]

Ray,
Watch out for skiracer, HOM is kicking but and taking names.
billyjoe

Yo, Billy. Check out Peanuts' short on NGA.