Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

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  • mimo_100
    replied
    Check Out The Ross Sisters - 1944.

    The one picking up the apple towards the end makes me hurt just to watch. Amazing 3 Ladies.
    During the first 50 seconds, they are just singing. But next, what they do, is unbelievable.

    Click this link

    Leave a comment:


  • mimo_100
    replied
    LEXOPHILES

    "Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    When chemists die, they barium.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    I changed my iPad's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

    Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

    This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

    I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

    I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

    A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

    A will is a dead giveaway.

    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

    A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

    The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

    He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

    When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

    Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

    The winner: Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

    Leave a comment:


  • mimo_100
    replied
    Once upon a time when our politicians did not tend to apologize for our country's prior actions.

    Here's a refresher on how some of our former patriots handled negative comments about our great country. These are good.

    JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when
    DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of
    France as soon as possible. Rusk responded, "Does that include those who are buried here?"
    DeGaulle did not respond.
    You could have heard a pin drop.

    When in England , at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury
    if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush.

    He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."
    You could have heard a pin drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
    There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into
    the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done?
    He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims.
    What does he intend to do, bomb them?"

    A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:
    "Our carriers have three hospitals on board
    that can treat several hundred people;
    they are nuclear powered and can supply
    emergency electrical power to shore facilities;
    they have three cafeterias with
    the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day,
    they can produce several thousand gallons of
    fresh water from sea water each day,
    and they carry half a dozen helicopters for
    use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.
    We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"
    You could have heard a pin drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries.
    Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.
    He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"

    Without hesitating the American Admiral replied,
    "Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans
    arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."
    You could have heard a pin drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
    AND
    THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE..

    Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
    At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in
    his carry on.

    "You have been to France before, monsieur?"
    the customs officer asked sarcastically.

    Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

    "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

    The American said, "The last time I was here,
    I didn't have to show it."

    "Impossible.. Americans always have to show their passports on
    arrival in France !"

    The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look.
    Then, he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on,
    D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchman
    to show a passport to."
    You could have heard a pin drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I am proud to be an American.

    Leave a comment:


  • billyjoe
    replied
    Originally posted by Louetta View Post
    I think these days we're supposed to use the term redacted.
    Merriam Webster says: redacted- edited especially in order to obscure or remove sensitive information. First known usage 1970.

    ---------------billy

    Leave a comment:


  • Louetta
    replied
    I think these days we're supposed to use the term redacted.

    Leave a comment:


  • billyjoe
    replied
    The term "Expletive Deleted" can be traced to April 1974, I remember those days very well.



    --------------billy


    Not to be confused with a "Minced Oath" that might be worded "Go fudge yourself, Phoenix." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minced_oath

    Leave a comment:


  • Louetta
    replied
    Go **** yourself, Phoenix.

    Leave a comment:


  • Phoenix7
    replied
    'A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!" '.

    Leave a comment:


  • Karel
    replied
    Originally posted by riverbabe View Post
    https://outabouter.com/2018/06/02/te...ion-of-canada/
    Terrifying Images Emerge From Within Once-Peaceful-Now-A-Security-Threat Nation Of Canada
    They shouldn't take it personally. President Trump just needs a reason to impose tariffs.

    Leave a comment:


  • riverbabe
    replied

    Terrifying Images Emerge From Within Once-Peaceful-Now-A-Security-Threat Nation Of Canada

    Leave a comment:


  • Phoenix7
    replied
    "PLEASE SKIP MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!"

    Slice of life: Debbie Mills Newbroughten, then 99 years old, was being walked in a wheelchair by her daughter on her way to her own hundredth birthday party when she was hit and killed by a truck… that was, ironically, delivering the birthday cake to her party.

    Leave a comment:


  • Phoenix7
    replied
    "A FINAL REQUEST!

    An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

    Leave a comment:


  • Phoenix7
    replied
    BOXING : Triple "G" Racks up another win .With a punch like a mule his opponent bit the dust early Watch The K.O. http://www.sportingnews.com/boxing/n...r16oyt4l6b7in8

    Leave a comment:


  • Phoenix7
    replied
    Originally posted by mimo_100 View Post
    I am not sure who the fourth person was
    Apparently in the shoot out 4 guys bit the dust ......yes that 4th one still remains a mystery LOL

    Leave a comment:


  • billyjoe
    replied
    I'd say an innocent bystander, but Clint wouldn't make such a mistake. The 4th guy got what he deserved!

    -----------------billy

    Leave a comment:

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