Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

**Peter Hansen** · 05-23-2010, 06:16 PM

Save The Airlines

Airlines are precarious at best ......but here are some suggestions for "SAVING" the airlines .......Pete has some solutions that , "WILL WORK"

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place....

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!

What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party

atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in

this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women..

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary,

thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we

could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back

20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women.

Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline

industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a

golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do

everything myself?

**Peter Hansen** · 05-25-2010, 02:16 PM

Watch ou for this virus!!!!

Is this BS or true?......I could NOT find any reference on www.snopes.com

URGENT!!! PLEASE CIRCULATE to your friends, family and contacts.

In the coming days, DO NOT open any message with an attachment called: Black in the White House, regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus that opens an Olympics torch that burns the whole hard disk C of your computer. This virus comes from a known person who you have in your list.

Directions: You should send this message to all of your contacts. It is better to receive this e-mail 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a message called Black in the White House even if sent by a friend, do not open, and shut down your machine immediately. It is the worst virus announced by CNN. This new virus has been discovered recently it has been classified by Microsoft as the virus most destructive ever.
This virus was discovered yesterday afternoon by McAfee. There is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the hard disk, where vital information function is stored.

**Karel** · 05-25-2010, 02:29 PM

Originally posted by Peter Hansen View Post

Is this BS or true?......I could NOT find any reference on www.snopes.com

URGENT!!! PLEASE CIRCULATE to your friends, family and contacts.

In the coming days, DO NOT open any message with an attachment called: Black in the White House, [et cetera et cetera]

Errm, Google (or virtually any search engine) is your friend:

Google Search

http://www.google.nl/search?q=Black+in+the+White+House

The short? It is BS.

Regards,

Karel

**Peter Hansen** · 05-25-2010, 07:06 PM

Karel Thanx for exposing another hoax

Originally posted by Karel View Post

Errm, Google (or virtually any search engine) is your friend:

Google Search

http://www.google.nl/search?q=Black+in+the+White+House

The short? It is BS.

Regards,

Karel

Oh well........another hoax!

**Peter Hansen** · 05-25-2010, 07:11 PM

"Damned Fine Sermon Preacher!"

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'
The preacher said, "No SHI*?"

**microchips** · 05-26-2010, 04:37 PM

Keep it???????

I was woken uo again last night by the bulimic girl next door!

So i banged on the wall and shouted "for gods sake keep it down"

FOR SALE
A full set of 45 encyclopedias $2000 or near offer! reason for sale: just got married and the wife knows every F%"^ing thing.

A muslim terrorist has been found NAILED to a door!! he was missing toe nails,

finger nails,all teeth had been drilled, arms and legs broken.

The local commander said it was the worst case of suicide he had ever seen!!

A cannibal was sat crying next to a pile of crap.

A guy walking passed asked "what was the matter"?

He replied "I"ve just dumped my girlfriend"!!

3 Things not to say in a gay bar.

1: BUGGER ME it"s hot in here.

2:F%^K me the beers cheap.

3: Do you mind if i push your STOOL in a bit.?

A man rings 911 and says "i think my wife is dead", the operator says "how

do you know?.

He says the sex is "just the same but the ironing is piling up"!!!!!!!!

**Peter Hansen** · 05-27-2010, 07:30 AM

Micro AHA good sense of humor

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ...'

**microchips** · 05-27-2010, 02:51 PM

How far????????

Pete,
Seems we have the same sense of humour.Did any of your relatives come from my neck of the woods(Yorkshire UK)? because there doesnt seem to be anyone else posts jokes but in any event i know boat loads only trouble is%90
of them are either sick,slightly racist or downright disgusting which i find the best, trouble is if i go to far do i get suspended like you did?(ha ha ha) or do i get to sit on the naughty step?.
..............................................Nick

**Karel** · 05-27-2010, 05:02 PM

I would say that sick, slightly racist or otherwise disgusting posts are the kind that attracts strict measures, yes. It may be because neither I nor my forebears hail from Yorkshire (UK), but that is how it is. Consider yourself warned.

Regards,

Karel

**microchips** · 05-27-2010, 05:48 PM

Who"s looking?

A man comes home and catches his wife making love to one of his mates, so

he stabs him to death. His misses says, "f"%^ing carry on like that and youll

have no mates left".

My 80 year old Aunt has just had a tatoo of a seashell done on her inner thigh,

Its so good that if you put your ear to it you can smell the SEA!!!

A man making love to a 700pound woman...He says" Any chance we can have

the lights off "? she says " Why do you find me that repulsive"?

He says "No, its burning my F%^&ing arse".

**skiracer** · 05-27-2010, 06:27 PM

Originally posted by Karel View Post

I would say that sick, slightly racist or otherwise disgusting posts are the kind that attracts strict measures, yes. It may be because neither I nor my forebears hail from Yorkshire (UK), but that is how it is. Consider yourself warned.

Regards,

Karel

i'd make his kneel on bare knees in the corner on small pebbles
with a bar of soap shoved in his mouth. i always preferred ivory myself. could never get used to those pebbles though.

**Peter Hansen** · 05-27-2010, 07:16 PM

Nick

Originally posted by microchips View Post

Pete,
Seems we have the same sense of humour.Did any of your relatives come from my neck of the woods(Yorkshire UK)? because there doesnt seem to be anyone else posts jokes but in any event i know boat loads only trouble is%90
of them are either sick,slightly racist or downright disgusting which i find the best, trouble is if i go to far do i get suspended like you did?(ha ha ha) or do i get to sit on the naughty step?.
..............................................Nick

Nick My wife's mother was a British Citizen.......The English have a good sense of homor but "LOUSY" food.
I think if people would lighten up and go with the flow .....the world would be a better place! Nick after all you are consorting with a known criminal ! LOL

**microchips** · 05-27-2010, 07:18 PM

:

Originally posted by skiracer View Post

i'd make his kneel on bare knees in the corner on small pebbles
with a bar of soap shoved in his mouth. i always preferred ivory myself. could never get used to those pebbles though.

That sounds like fun especialy while being whipped by a scantily claded lady!!!!!!!

.........................A DUCK WALKS INTO A BAR.........................

Got any bread?

Barman says "no".

Got any bread?

No....

Got any bread?

No....

Got any bread?

No..

Got any bread?

No we hav"nt

Got any bread?

Ask me again and i will nail your F%^"ing beak to the bar you irratating twat

of a bird!!

Got any nails?

No!......

Got any bread then?.......

**Peter Hansen** · 05-27-2010, 07:19 PM

No smoking unbelievable!

This young man actually smokes 2 packs per day , and gets mad as hell if they try to take away his "fags" Where are the parents?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ0aZu25L_Q

**microchips** · 05-27-2010, 07:32 PM

Originally posted by Peter Hansen View Post

Nick My wife's mother was a British Citizen.......The English have a good sense of homor but "LOUSY" food.
I think if people would lighten up and go with the flow .....the world would be a better place! Nick after all you are consorting with a known criminal ! LOL

Pete,
......Takes one to know one!! if you know what i mean. As for "LOUSY" food

your mother in law should have introduced you to the Yorkshire Pudding!

(thats not me by the way)

And you gave us Mc Donalds?........

Plus we have so many great beers, most in the world i think; so if you do

happen to have some "LOUSY" food here you can wash away the taste with

a great BEER............LOL..

Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment