Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[Peter Hansen]

More Fun !

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's razor



Regards,

Karel

After Ski's remarks and Karel's response, it would be save to say that prudence would dictate the cancellation of any Big Game hunting trips chartered by both Ski and Karel.
Furthermore, as far as Robert Hanlon and Hanlon's Razor is concerned , we would have been spared from the psyco, philosophical B.S. , and humanity would have been best served had Mr Hanlon slit his own throat with that razor! LOL

[Peter Hansen]

Cash for clunkers!

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. LOL

[Peter Hansen]

Computer Booting Up Slowly?

A local newspaper columnist came up with this FREE........and I know all the mongers here like that word......program that you can download which will SPEED UP your Boot Process. No credit card , safe program that will analyze your boot process, and suggest start up programs to eliminate, which in turn will SPEED UP your booting progress.
I tried it , and it does work . Here is the site :
www.soluto.com Check It out!

[microchips]

Only for laughs!!

A guy asks the librarian,

"Have you got the new self help book
for men with small willies"?.

The librarian says,
" Its not in yet".

The guy says " Yes that's the one".

.................................................. .......

The local police have just pulled a mans body out of the river,

He was wearing an England football shirt, a black bra ,suspenders and

stockings, he was also carrying a blow up doll.

A police officer says " To avoid any embarrassment to the family

we removed the shirt".

.................................................. .....

Its been reported that the England manager Fabio Capella has arranged a

friendly football match with Iceland!! if that goes well he will arrange matches

with Wall-mart, KFC and Mc Donalds.

.................................................. .....

I was just sat at home wondering if my new idea for glass coffins

would take off and be a roaring success!!.

REMAINS TO BE SEEN.

.................................................. ........

Teacher calls little Paddy to her desk and says " The essay you wrote

about your pet dog is word for word the same as your brothers".

" Of course it is, its the same F*^king dog " little Paddy replied.

.................................................. ......

SHAG!!

Funny word isn't it?.

To a smoker its a type of tobacco.

To an American its a dance.

To an Ornithologist its a bird.

And to you ya ugly BUGGER its a remote possibility!!!.

.................................................. .......

Ive just had some charity w^%kers asking me to donate clothes to Africa!.

I told them to F^%K OFF!!.Any African who can fit in my clothes ain't starving!!!!!!!!

..................................

I had a German plumber in the other day and he accidentally connected the

shower up to the gas supply!! Bloody old habits die hard!!!!!!!!!

..........LOL>>

[Karel]

A guy asks the librarian,
(etc. etc.)

Well, it certainly is off topic...



Regards,

Karel

[Karel]

A local newspaper columnist came up with this FREE........and I know all the mongers here like that word......program that you can download which will SPEED UP your Boot Process. No credit card , safe program that will analyze your boot process, and suggest start up programs to eliminate, which in turn will SPEED UP your booting progress.
I tried it , and it does work . Here is the site :
www.soluto.com Check It out!

Actually, it won't, as it is a data gathering application (http://www.soluto.com/About/Ethical-Code/), that in the short term will only tax your computer more. Soluto then will confront software makers with their conclusions and those software makers will pay Soluto big sums to be allowed to make their own software less frustrating with the use of Soluto's findings.

A touching case of optimism.

Regards,

Karel

[microchips]

Well, it certainly is off topic...



Regards,

Karel

Karel,
......I take it you liked the selection then?.....Lots and lots more where they

came from....LOL..

[Karel]

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. ...

Such a beautiful story! Sometimes reality beats fiction hands down.
Sometimes it doesn't.

Regards,

Karel

[Karel]

Karel,
......I take it you liked the selection then?.....Lots and lots more where they

came from....LOL..

Well, since you ask, there were one or two that made me smile a bit, but the rest didn't make it even that far. Perhaps our senses of humo(u)r do not overlap that much. Touching weak jokes up with swear words does not work for me, either. But perhaps I do not drink enough beer in a short enough time. I admit to having one especially dumb joke that I reserve until the audience is rather sozzled. It always works pretty well, and I have fun too.

Regards,

Karel

[Peter Hansen]

Karel

Well, since you ask, there were one or two that made me smile a bit, but the rest didn't make it even that far. Perhaps our senses of humo(u)r do not overlap that much. Touching weak jokes up with swear words does not work for me, either. But perhaps I do not drink enough beer in a short enough time. I admit to having one especially dumb joke that I reserve until the audience is rather sozzled. It always works pretty well, and I have fun too.

Regards,

Karel

Karel Aha .........remember "Loose Lips Sink Ships". Perhaps micro can loosen up those Scottish purse strings , and buy you a few "Depth Charges", which is A shot of 151 Proof Ron Rico Rum into a Beer!
After a few of those , you will be listening to Micro's Jokes while sitting on his lap LOL!

[microchips]

Karel Aha .........remember "Loose Lips Sink Ships". Perhaps micro can loosen up those Scottish purse strings , and buy you a few "Depth Charges", which is A shot of 151 Proof Ron Rico Rum into a Beer!
After a few of those , you will be listening to Micro's Jokes while sitting on his lap LOL!

Peter,
.......Ive got a good idea as to what jokes Karel finds amusing and which ones he doesn't,but as with all jokes you cant please everyone all of the time so ill go for the majority. As for Scottish purse strings i live in YORKSHIRE 100 miles from the Haggis Munchers!!! its like saying your French, as for Karel sitting on my knee i would sooner have River!! next instalments of jokes to follow soon....lol..

[IIC]

There was an eartquake in Maryland near Wash DC at 5:04 this morning 3.6...here is a shot of the damage http://twitpic.com/25txue

[Peter Hansen]

Earthquake IN Washington DC

There was an eartquake in Maryland near Wash DC at 5:04 this morning 3.6...here is a shot of the damage http://twitpic.com/25txue

There was also an earthquake in D.C. too bad it did not shake up those, POOR EXCUSES" pretending to be Congress People and Senators!

[IIC]

Yesterday I tweeted about the protection racket the SEC is running..."Fraud is OK as long as you give us our cut"...No response...I think many have just given up.

Today at the chat somebody asked me if I was worried about all the statements I post...LOL...Heck, I need the publicity...Trying to get 1mil followers...I'm near 3,000...But it is taking longer than I anticipated...Each 1,000 followers is worth about $5.00 a day w/o trying or selling anything.

100k = $500 day

1mil = $5,000 day

C'mon...If each one of you would just tell your 500 closest friends to follow me I could sit back and just analyze the market and tell everybody what's gonna happen.

Thanks In Advance...Doug

[riverbabe]

There was an eartquake in Maryland near Wash DC at 5:04 this morning 3.6...here is a shot of the damage http://twitpic.com/25txue

Hee hee hee! That's a good one Doug.