Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[billyjoe]

Ski,
You're lucky to have survived as long as you have. My most amazing incident happened at the Agora nightclub in Cleveland. We were watching Gary U.S. Bonds and Vince Vance and the Valiants. It was so crowded that when a crazy person came in firing and everyone hit the floor I had no place to fall and was the only person upright. Well I don't know if the dude was aiming for me but I swear a bullet went so close by my ear it almost touched me. We heard someone was killed there but got out so fast we never got the whole story.

----------------billy

[skiracer]

Ski,
You're lucky to have survived as long as you have. My most amazing incident happened at the Agora nightclub in Cleveland. We were watching Gary U.S. Bonds and Vince Vance and the Valiants. It was so crowded that when a crazy person came in firing and everyone hit the floor I had no place to fall and was the only person upright. Well I don't know if the dude was aiming for me but I swear a bullet went so close by my ear it almost touched me. We heard someone was killed there but got out so fast we never got the whole story.

----------------billy

i was a wild and crazy guy in those days billyjoe. i blame it all on the army and the war. lol. i have calmed down considerably since and am not the same person as i was then. i am blessed to have weathered the storm. i have had a few whiz by me closer than necessary. one time during a firefight when our compound was under attack and being overrun. i turn around and a vietnamese guy had the drop on me outright and i thought for sure if was over. he had the weapon up and pointed right at me but he hesitated a split second to long and a shot rings out and he falls dead in front of me. never saw who made the kill or where it came from. just not my time at that moment. when i realized he hadn't killed me i looked down and i had wet my pants in that moment and didn't evern know it.

[Peter Hansen]

SKI Needless To Say

i was a wild and crazy guy in those days billyjoe. i blame it all on the army and the war. lol. i have calmed down considerably since and am not the same person as i was then. i am blessed to have weathered the storm. i have had a few whiz by me closer than necessary. one time during a firefight when our compound was under attack and being overrun. i turn around and a vietnamese guy had the drop on me outright and i thought for sure if was over. he had the weapon up and pointed right at me but he hesitated a split second to long and a shot rings out and he falls dead in front of me. never saw who made the kill or where it came from. just not my time at that moment. when i realized he hadn't killed me i looked down and i had wet my pants in that moment and didn't evern know it.

Ski needless to say ......you led an interesting life....Back in the day when I was about 2 yrs old , my older sister and I decided to play spaceman and she tied a plastic bag on my head very securely .....FORTUNATELY my mother had come in to the room ....a minute or 2 more and I would have been playing the harp.....well I learned never to sweat the small stuff and to have fun and live for today .....because tomorrow may never come !

[riverbabe]

Oldie but Goody, courtesy of this native-born Canuck

This should give you some idea of how difficult it is for a transplanted citizen who was brought up speaking PROPER English to adapt! One of the most difficult for me (besides aluminum aka aluminium) was SULFUR (aka SULPHUR!!!). (Also "fourty-four, I mean come on, who could possibly spell it "forty"-four!!!)


BRITAIN IS REPOSSESSING THE U.S.A.
A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the United States of America:


In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over
all states, commonwealths, and territories (except California , which she
does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be
disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether
any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect: You should look up "revocation" in the
Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping
half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be eliminated. Generally, you
will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up
'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft
know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by
adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone
or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to
carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go
metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British
sense of humour.

8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are
not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,
and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as
Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so
that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four
Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
with a cheese grater.

12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby -
the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.


13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket deliveries.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).

16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God save the Queen!

[billyjoe]

River,
Upon seeing your post I jumped in my Beaumont and went looking for a colourful bouquet of flowers. My Great Grandmother was in Ontario for many years awaiting permission to enter the states as she wasn't deemed literate enough to qualify for citizenship.They eventually settled in Erie Pa. where she was an interpreter for German speaking neighbors. I hope to never fall out of favour with you. I'm going to find out the town my GG lived in and visit it. She lived well into her 90's outliving her daughter (my Grandmother) by 27 years but died shortly before my birth.

----------------billy

[riverbabe]

River,
Upon seeing your post I jumped in my Beaumont and went looking for a colourful bouquet of flowers. My Great Grandmother was in Ontario for many years awaiting permission to enter the states as she wasn't deemed literate enough to qualify for citizenship.They eventually settled in Erie Pa. where she was an interpreter for German speaking neighbors. I hope to never fall out of favour with you. I'm going to find out the town my GG lived in and visit it. She lived well into her 90's outliving her daughter (my Grandmother) by 27 years but died shortly before my birth.

----------------billy

billyjoe, I am delighted to learn of your Great Grandmother's German roots in Ontario. She and I share these! I was born in Waterloo (founded 1800 by Pennsylvania Amish), a twin city to Kitchener which, until 1914 was Berlin. Every year there is Oktoberfest, now one of the biggest Canadian festivals. My German ancestors arrived from about 1830 on, with the earliest arriving in 1790 under questionable circumstances (he was in one of the armies in Germany and did something bad and fled to escape the consequences). My brother and I learned to understand German very quickly because my parents spoke it when they didn't want us to know something. My mother's family spoke "high German" and my father's family spoke "low German". When we rode the streetcars growing up, we wouldn't hear a word of English. Have many memories and have written two books on my family history (look them up on Amazon.com -- although it says they are out of print, they are really stacked in my upstairs closet). Interested in hearing more about Great Grandma! River (P.S. Will be willing to PM you with Amazon search words).

[billyjoe]

River,
I believe she was a Seigel but will have to ask for more info. My Grandfather moved the family to Cleveland after my Grandmother died in 1922. Great Grandmother was married to a Yochim and there are also a bunch of Dudenhoefers in the family tree but don't know if they were from Canada. I'd be interested in those search words. Thanks. I've got a picture of Great Great Grandparents Yochim 50th wedding anniversary in 1917. Will have to find where they came from.

--------------billy

[jiesen]

River,
I believe she was a Seigel but will have to ask for more info. My Grandfather moved the family to Cleveland after my Grandmother died in 1922. Great Grandmother was married to a Yochim and there are also a bunch of Dudenhoefers in the family tree but don't know if they were from Canada. I'd be interested in those search words. Thanks. I've got a picture of Great Great Grandparents Yochim 50th wedding anniversary in 1917. Will have to find where they came from.

--------------billy

dude! you're a Dude...enhoefer.

[peanuts]

dude! you're a Dude...enhoefer.

SSSSssssSSssssSSSsssssssss

(I'm using that until Lyehopper comes back to re-claim it)

[billyjoe]

Just came across an interesting and disturbing site: www.felonspy.com

Put in any address and it will show where all the convicted felons live nearby along with their crime. Just click on the red or orange pointers. Some of you will be shocked.

------------billy

[IIC]

Just came across an interesting and disturbing site: www.felonspy.com

Put in any address and it will show where all the convicted felons live nearby along with their crime. Just click on the red or orange pointers. Some of you will be shocked.

------------billy

Cool...I'll be knockin' on some doors this weekend.

Is this real?...We have the sex offender site here in CA...I'm gonna go check on some of these...I'm serious

[Peter Hansen]

Billie all I see Are MEN

Just came across an interesting and disturbing site: www.felonspy.com

Put in any address and it will show where all the convicted felons live nearby along with their crime. Just click on the red or orange pointers. Some of you will be shocked.

------------billy

Billie All I see are the MEN.....That is discrimination ......Where are the ladies ?......some prostitututes should be on there?

[IIC]

Billie All I see are the MEN.....That is discrimination ......Where are the ladies ?......some prostitututes should be on there?

Prostitution is usually a misdemeanor...Unless you charge $4,300...lol

[Karel]

Just came across an interesting and disturbing site: www.felonspy.com

Put in any address and it will show where all the convicted felons live nearby along with their crime. Just click on the red or orange pointers. Some of you will be shocked.

------------billy

Disturbing site indeed. It links to Puppy Profits (Google Cache page, as the site now seems to be offline) and Medical Adoptions.

And then of course there is this, which suggests that there is also info on the other two sites: see Puppy Profits / Medical adoptions.

Regards,

Karel

[billyjoe]

Billie All I see are the MEN.....That is discrimination ......Where are the ladies ?......some prostitututes should be on there?

Not to worry , Pete, There's a woman kidnapper a few miles from me.

-------------billy