Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[IIC]

i was a knockout then and still am a suave hardbody at 63 and as glib as ever with the young ladies.

How about some photos? I don't believe I've ever seen one of you...

Check out the GREAT NEWS I posted on the IIC Winners thread yesterday

[skiracer]

How about some photos? I don't believe I've ever seen one of you...

Check out the GREAT NEWS I posted on the IIC Winners thread yesterday

i don't know if that is a good idea doug. then you might want to move to nj.

[IIC]

i don't know if that is a good idea doug. then you might want to move to nj.

I don't know about that...I believe I mentioned previously that years ago my wife and I took one of those online surveys which tell you your ideal retirement spot.

Her's came out somewhere in New Jersey...

Mine was Pahrump Nevada. http://living-las-vegas.com/2005/02/...ls-in-pahrump/

Guess we won't be seing much of each other in our Golden years

[Peter Hansen]

Pahrump Home Of Are Bell ( Coast To Coast AM radio)

I don't know about that...I believe I mentioned previously that years ago my wife and I took one of those online surveys which tell you your ideal retirement spot.

Her's came out somewhere in New Jersey...

Mine was Pahrump Nevada. http://living-las-vegas.com/2005/02/...ls-in-pahrump/

Guess we won't be seing much of each other in our Golden years

Art Bell lives there there ....and when ya retire ......if you choose Pahrump ...I am sure the legal .....and close.... "Cat Houses" will keep ya busy ......It should not be a very far trip with your walker ...LOL Happy Retirement!

[Peter Hansen]

Time For Some Jokes

Perhaps some jokes are in order .....here are 3 enjoy

Why women rule



Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope,
because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech , ALL the men started clapping !






My Private Part Died



An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Wallace.
"My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and
sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry,
Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking
down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his
pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Wallace," she
said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please
put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy I can't," replied Mr. Wallace.
"I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

"Yes," said Nurse Tracy, "you did tell me that, but why
is it hanging out of your pajamas?"





"Well," he replied, "Today is the viewing."

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up
to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like
to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy!
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the
law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds
of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any
cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now,
that's different. You didn't tell me you had a
prescription."

[IIC]

Correlations

The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS

and....

The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.


THE AMAZING CONCLUSION.......

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

[Peter Hansen]

The "ELEPHANT" story

Incredible Story
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Rem embering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

[mimo_100]

To show our solidarity as Americans

There are less than eight months until the election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States. The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support Obama or Hillary, please drive with your headlights off at night.

[peanuts]

There are less than eight months until the election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States. The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support Obama or Hillary, please drive with your headlights off at night.

If you support Ron Paul, then drive your car into the FED headquarters?

[riverbabe]

This is a well-known member of this forum:



This is my 8 year-old grandson:





Should I be concerned??? Riverbabe

[peanuts]

...

Should I be concerned??? Riverbabe

nah... as long as he has a ten foot pole, he'll be able to fend off the fuglies.

By the way... what's your daughter's name. Maybe I "knew" her

[IIC]

should I be concerned??? Riverbabe

If his nickname is Goober...Then you should be concerned.

BTW...I don't recall seeing that photo of Peanuts posted here before...Heck, now I'm getting concerned.

[Peter Hansen]

Jesus Saves

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES . . . $50.00." A policeman seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time another car passed with a sign saying "Jesus Saves." They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "well, that's a little different it pertains to religion." So they took their sign down and the next day there they were, driving around town with a new sign which said, "Hi ;Two Angels Seeking Peter . . . $50.00."

[riverbabe]

nah... as long as he has a ten foot pole, he'll be able to fend off the fuglies.

By the way... what's your daughter's name. Maybe I "knew" her

Okay, I'm reassured! At least you remember their names! LOL! BTW, he is a twin -- there is a beautiful girl too, should you wish to claim her as well.

[IIC]

SHIPWRECKED:

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.



After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.



One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.


As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.



But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.



After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.



A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.



The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.


That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again..



He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.



He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'