Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[jiesen]

I have relatives, but do not live in Arkansas. Should I be offended?

[skiracer]

Dear Abby

" I'm an 18 yr old girl from Arkansas, and I am still a virgin. Do you think my brothers are GAY?"


Pete extends his apology to all who have relatives or live in Arkansas LOL!

If they are living in arkansas and she is still a virgin at 18 then her brothers are definitely gay!

[skiracer]

there were 3 men in a bar drinking heavily and talking about profound issues relating to what was the most significant invention to mankind. the first was an italian and he said that the wheel was the most important. without it man would never have been able to move about and travel to distant lands to inhabit and develope them. both of the other men agreed that the wheel was a very important invention. the second guy happened to be irish and he said that the internet was the greatest boon to man. his case was based on how it enabled man to communicate with such speed and ease. the other two also agreed that the internet was a significant development and enabled mankind to do many things much easier. they were all feeling pretty good by now and the third guy was a black construction worker. he acknowledged each of the other two guys choices but he was sure that his choice was going to be the better of them all. and with that he stood up and held his thermos bottle up in his hand and stated that in his opinion the thermos bottle was the greatest boon to mankind. the other two guys looked at him in disbelief and asked him how could he believe such a preposterous thought. the black guy proudly held up the thermos bottle and stated that "in the winter his thermos kept his coffee and soup hot all day and that in the summer his thermos kept his juice and soda cold all day. although they were all pretty drunk the other two looked at him in and said, " so what's the big deal with that". the black guy looked they back in the eye, and said, "yes, but how do it know"?

[Karel]

there were 3 men in a bar drinking heavily and talking about profound issues relating to what was the most significant invention to mankind. ...

Well, that was a curiously slow starting joke. The probable original adds a person, gives the first three choices a point, is shorter to boot, and the contrast is between science and muddleheadedness. See here. Losing all that and hanging the point of the joke on a racial stereotype doesn't work for me. Although I have to admit that I happen to be sober right now, which might impair my judgment.

Regards,

Karel

[skiracer]

Well, that was a curiously slow starting joke. The probable original adds a person, gives the first three choices a point, is shorter to boot, and the contrast is between science and muddleheadedness. See here. Losing all that and hanging the point of the joke on a racial stereotype doesn't work for me. Although I have to admit that I happen to be sober right now, which might impair my judgment.

Regards,

Karel

and it probably has karel. if i wanted to be downright racial about the joke i could have been much more explicit. it's become one of the biggest problems in this country today. there are certain ethnic and racial groups that you cannot say anything about whether it be in fun or in truth. in this case racism was the farthest thing intended in my mind and the joke was meant to be funny. maybe i'm not meant to be a comic.

[Peter Hansen]

And then it is wiinter !

And then it is Winter..........







This is one of the nicest emails I have received in a long time.....

enjoy and remember ..... .and then it is Winter.













You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went.

I know that I lived them all...

And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is..the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well...seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like... But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting gray...they move slower and I see an older person now. Lots are in better shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore...it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will..I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!!

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over...its over....Yes , I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done ,,,,,things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime....

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for good today and

say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...

and hope that they

appreciate and love you

for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

'Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after.

Make it a fantastic one.'

LIVE IT WELL!!----ENJOY TODAY!!!!-----DO SOMETHING FUN!!!----

BE HAPPY!!!----BE THANKFUL!!!!!

[billyjoe]

This is sort of funny if it wasn't your car. Even funnier is that I bought a Honda from the guy that invented this technology. I often wondered if he'd turn it off from time to time just for laughs. I didn't realize it was the same Cleveland technology responsible for these Texas problems.

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/03/hacker-bricks-cars/

------------billy

[IIC]

SCHOOL --1959 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack..
2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies..
2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both
Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD.. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to
foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock..
2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum.. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1959 - Ants die.
2009 -ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents --and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

[billyjoe]

Holy crap! These right wing religious nuts just live a few miles from me. Can't see their faces with the camoflage, but a fat one that seemed to be the leader was called "Rush" by his groupies.

http://www.sanduskyregister.com/articles/2010/03/29/front/1986550.txt

-----------billy

[Peter Hansen]

Billy A rancher IS Killed in ARIZONA

Holy crap! These right wing religious nuts just live a few miles from me. Can't see their faces with the camoflage, but a fat one that seemed to be the leader was called "Rush" by his groupies.

http://www.sanduskyregister.com/articles/2010/03/29/front/1986550.txt

-----------billy

Billy where is Napolitano when a MURDER is actually committed by an ILLEGAL ALIEN ? Poor rancher and his dog were SHOT to death .......Janet better get her AS* in gear and send out a MILITIA looking for the killers! Black helicopters , and special agents ,just as for the militia nuts, should be sent out before the Mexican drug gangs take over the lower half of the USA!
Read this story!

http://www.diggersrealm.com/mt/archives/003355.html

[billyjoe]

Pete,
Correction, both sides are nuts and over-reacting.
I guess they both want to kill terrorists that are attacking our rights.

------------billy

[yoyomama]

If only it was make believe

Stocks fall on Iceland downgrade, Stocks rise on growth in Europe, stocks fall on Greece bailout concerns, stocks fall on consumer confidence numbers, stocks rise on consumer confidence numbers, stocks decline on non farm payroll numbers, stocks rise in emerging markets due to NCAA brackets....

[IIC]

The new Google http://bit.ly/9xc4oO

[Peter Hansen]

Rate obama as president cnbc poll

Rate Obama as president in this 15 sec CNBC NEWS poll......GUESS WHAT HIS GRADE WILL BE.... A-F? You will instantly get the results after taking the poll! How is that Hope and Change working out for ya ....eh? LOL

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-6116297-503544.html?tag

P.S. Dont forget to read the comments from a cross section of the population below the survey!

[dmk112]

Rate Obama as president in this 15 sec CNBC NEWS poll......GUESS WHAT HIS GRADE WILL BE.... A-F? You will instantly get the results after taking the poll! How is that Hope and Change working out for ya ....eh? LOL

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-6116297-503544.html?tag

P.S. Dont forget to read the comments from a cross section of the population below the survey!

simply put, we're not happy campers.