Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[Peter Hansen]

Only hire the "most" qualified!

When hiring one must always focus away from an applicant's political ideology, or appearance ....and strictly concentrate on the "MOST " qualified!
Turn up your speakers, keep your eyes focused ....and see what a GREAT job interview actually entails !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HTG3B8jf5w

[microchips]

Q:Whats funnier than a terrorist on fire?

A:Trying to put him out with a baseball BAT!!

Never give a terrorist an even break! multiple and compound fractures are much BETTER

Just rung Domino Pizzas and ordered a thin and crusty supreme!

Bloody Diana Ross turned up!...

A nurse walks into a bank exhausted after a 20hr shift. She pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write a cheque with it. She looks at the cashier and says "Well thats great Fu%*ing great some arsehole has got my pen".

Just read an article on heavy drinking and pot smoking! scared the hell out of me.So thats it after today no more reading!

Micky Mouse"s solicitor says "You cant divorce Minnie for having big teeth"

Micky replies "I didnt say she had big teeth i said she"s F*^&ING GOOFY

[Peter Hansen]

What Stimulus Check?

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.



This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by Spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .


* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..


* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .


* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .


* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )



Conclusion:






Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

I’m just passing the message on.
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

[mrfly]

So I did that and now I'm fat, happy and broke---with a smile on my face. I should have done more of that a week ago. Instead I didn't stay away in MAY and I bought a ton of stocks last Monday----Ughhhh, how long is this BEAR going to last. I should of played the bounce with HOV, darn it

[Peter Hansen]

Mr Fly We have all been there !

So I did that and now I'm fat, happy and broke---with a smile on my face. I should have done more of that a week ago. Instead I didn't stay away in MAY and I bought a ton of stocks last Monday----Ughhhh, how long is this BEAR going to last. I should of played the bounce with HOV, darn it

Cheer up ......we all make mistakes but try using stops or trailing stops in the future .....but in a violent downdraft in the markets stops won't always work.
Personally I think the markets were jerked , by whom?, that remains to be seen!

Worse things can happen ...learn from the experience and move on! Don't dwell on the past because nothing constructive can come of that!
Mr Fly Take care my friend!

[Peter Hansen]

What Goes Around Comes Around!

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND


One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pinto was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fears can put in you.

He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.'

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant.


Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase.



The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door She was gone by the time the waitress came back The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't owe me anything.. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.'

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

There is an old saying ...... 'What goes around comes around.' Today I sent you this story and I'm asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine.

Don't delete it, don't return it. Simply, pass this on to a friend.

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

[peanuts]

I love this thread

[mrfly]

Great story Peter,

I am so lucky to be an ICU nurse. I am involved with so many lives from so many different cultures that otherwise would be nearly impossible. After 19 years in the business I still get a charge from helping others. And you are right, it comes back to you in so many ways.

I may complain about losing $$, but actually I'm just making fun of myself. As long as I'm not toes up on a cold slab, life is good. To me, I rather be healthy than rich. Of course I'm working on both. All about enjoying the ride, not the finish line. Is there a finish line???????

[Peter Hansen]

Mrfly

Great story Peter,

I am so lucky to be an ICU nurse. I am involved with so many lives from so many different cultures that otherwise would be nearly impossible. After 19 years in the business I still get a charge from helping others. And you are right, it comes back to you in so many ways.

I may complain about losing $$, but actually I'm just making fun of myself. As long as I'm not toes up on a cold slab, life is good. To me, I rather be healthy than rich. Of course I'm working on both. All about enjoying the ride, not the finish line. Is there a finish line???????

I do read and listen to many to many motivational programs , and they all seem to indicate that the "JOURNEY" is actually more satisfying then the eventual attainment of your goal!
One CD, and it is also a book, is "The Magic Of Believing " by Claude Bristol
I downloaded it to my Ipod and listen to it frequently while walking or working out!

http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Believing-Claude-M-Bristol/dp/0743539486/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273233715&sr=1-1

Mr Fly have a great weekend!

[Peter Hansen]

Opera browser

OPERA, a free browser, is indeed , "THE FASTEST BROWSER IN THE WORLD" I downloaded it and I am amazed .........here is the link!

http://www.opera.com/

[dmk112]

OPERA, a free browser, is indeed , "THE FASTEST BROWSER IN THE WORLD" I downloaded it and I am amazed .........here is the link!

http://www.opera.com/

Have you tried google chorme? love it.

[Peter Hansen]

The lt rape matter !

Once again LT the Giant's Super Star bad boy has let his small head do the thinking and found himself on the wrong side of the law , but fortunately for him, not on the wrong side of a gun! Now although I am not a lawyer, having watched news clips of the OJ trial , I feel confident in providing the LT legal team with this 3 pronged defense.

1. Petition the courts for an intellectually challanged judge, like Lance Eto .
2. Stack the jury with Beer guzzling , tail gating Giant's fans, special preference given to those with tattoos and mohawk haircuts!
3. Have the defense team continually remind the jury ......"That if the condom does not fit, you must acquit!

BINGO LT will be found innocent LOL!

[Peter Hansen]

Work Smart Not Hard!

> Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different areas of town.
>
> Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about
> eight or nine dollars a day.
>
> Every day, Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills. He drives a
> Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has lots of cash to spend.
>
> "Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do,
> so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?"
>
> Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"
>
> Carlos' sign reads:
> I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.




> "What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.
>
> "No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"
> Carlos says, "Alright, so what does your sign say?"
>
> Jose's sign reads:
>
> I only need ten dollars to get back to Mexico

[Peter Hansen]

What It Takes To Be Number 1 !

Excellent presentation .....well worth a few minutes of your time!

http://www.simpletruths.tv/store/movies.php?movie=nmbo

[riverbabe]

This is the new "wear your seatbelt" ad the UK is doing - started by some dude not hired to do it, but because the cause is important to him, he
came up with this idea, and now it's being hailed across the world as a ‘beautiful' commercial.

And now the video has become so popular with the general public that people are forwarding it to friends/family on their own so quickly that it has spread all over the world in a very short time. Get a hankie ready.

http://embracethis.co.uk/