Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[IIC]

Peter...They have actually showed that last one on some bloopers show on TV...It was a riot...Doug

[Peter Hansen]

Doug Thanx

Peter...They have actually showed that last one on some bloopers show on TV...It was a riot...Doug

Doug thanx , a neighbor of mine had actually forwarded the joke......we share the same sense of humor LOL!

[Peter Hansen]

Bar Keep Another Bin Laden PLEASE!

Did you hear about the new drink called the Bin Laden?



It’s 2 shots and splash of water!

[buckhunter]

Royal humor

Like most unwed couples, Kate & Prince William never had sex before they were married. Once the royal wedding and reception were over, they headed off to their private retreat for the evening.

As William removed his shoes and his socks, Kate exclaimed "Oh my gosh!".

"Yeah that's right, Kate, when I was a kid I had 'tolio'".

"Don't you mean 'polio', my prince?"

"Nope, it was 'tolio'"

The prince continued to disrobe. As he dropped his royal drawers, the princess gasped again. "That's right Kate, when I was a young lad I had 'kneesels".

"Don't you mean 'measles'?", Kate questioned.

"Nope it was 'kneesels'"

As he dropped he Union Jack boxers, the Princess said "Wait don't tell me. You also had 'smallcox'"

[Deaddog]

Protocol for the Royal wedding night.

William asked his grandmother what was required of Royalty on the wedding night.

The queen explained the Royal protocol.

You approach your bride and ask May I have the Honor? To which she will reply “I willingly accept your offer.”

Then its Honor and Offer for the rest of the night.

[Peter Hansen]

Republicans & Democrats On High Gas Prices!

Gezzzzzz, I can't wait for $10 per gallon gas ......just think how many lives could be saved!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKdScVerrBU

[IIC]

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in Oklahoma for $200.00.

They bought the cow from Oklahoma and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening:

"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Oklahoma?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Oklahoma?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Oklahoma."

[Peter Hansen]

The Wife's Picture!

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."

[IIC]

PICK UP LINE

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman .
. .
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'

'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just
testing it.'

The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
'What's so special about it?'

The cowboy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'

The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies:

'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Damn thing's an hour fast.'

[Peter Hansen]

Herschel The Magnificent Jew

Good Old Jewish comedian comedy ......very funny!

http://holycannoli.posterous.com/herschel-the-magnificent-jew

[IIC]

eTrade Baby loses it all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4hfdaC7eL4

Doug

[Peter Hansen]

The New Cell Phones FUNNY!

WOW you will get a blast out of this LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xDbfHYZy4k

[Peter Hansen]

No Horsin' Around!

I remember back in High School , as a hairy arm reached out from the gym office and dropped off a red dodge ball ........with words of warning to the Jack Wagons in class not to "Horse" Around. As it turned out, the biggest Jack Offs in class became fire and policemen.
The coach should have warned this girl in the following video. See what she got for Horsing Around!

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/5/Horse-takes-a-dump-on-girls-head-505540

[riverbabe]

Stow high

When people ask what you learned today .....

Manure... An interesting fact

Manure : In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what
could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just
what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction '
Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high
enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would
not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ', (Stow High In Transit) which has come
down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term

[Peter Hansen]

Secret To A Long Italian Marriage!

The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage.



At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Boston, they have weekly husband's

marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe,

who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few

minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married

to the same woman all these years.



Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat

her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to

Italy for the 25th anniversary!'



The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all

the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife

for your 50th anniversary?'



Giuseppe proudly replied, "I'ma gonna go pick her up."