Originally posted by billyjoe
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Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)
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How to aerate a bottle of Red Wine - you have to STAN it.
How to aerate a bottle of red wine - you have to STAN the wine, named after my friend Stan who invented the method.
Open the bottle and pour off a small amount ~ 1/2 a glass.
Recork the bottle, with your favorite wine stopper.
Now the bottle has room with air above the surface of the wine.
Shake it vigorously - upside down, side to side - for about a minute.
Until there are air bubbles above the surface.
Let it stand for about a minute.
That is it !
You now have a smooth bottle of red wine, with the tannins oxidized.
Much better and quicker than letting the bottle stand for an hour to smooth it ( which I have previously done ).
And this is equivalent to the wine oxidizer that I saw on Shark Tank.
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Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A. A buccaneer.
Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords.
Q: Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop? A: It's too high a price 'toupee.'
Hal: How did you get hit on the head with a book? Sal: I only have my shelf to blame.
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. —Steve Martin, comedian
Bar Jokes
A screwdriver rolls into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The screwdriver squeals, "You have a drink named Philip??"
An amnesiac walks into a bar.
He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”Tim - Retired Problem Solver
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For those looking for a good scholarly paper to read, I found a great archive of stuff that Cornell hosts:
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Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.
Sam looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?"
They draw straws. Lester, who is always a loser, picks the short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name--leave it to me."
Lester walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.
Lester says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"
Lester replies, "I'll tell him."
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2 More Jokes!
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and swacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She replies, "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?"
He says, "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
She is appeased and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
He says, "What's that for this time?"
She answered, "Your horse MaryLou called."
A man is speaking with Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks him if he has done any good deeds in his time on Earth to merit entry into paradise.
Thinking for a moment, he says, "I was once in a bar in Arizona. I noticed a beautiful woman sitting alone, but before I could introduce myself a bunch of Hell's Angels stormed in and started wrecking the place. Then they scooped the woman off of her bar stool and started throwing her around and terrorizing all of the other guys there."
Saint Peter asks, "And what did you do?"
"Well, first I went outside and kicked their motorcycles over, then I went back in and found the biggest, ugliest, meanest one of them I could. Slapped him in the face, then snatched one of his earrings out and said, 'Listen up. Either you and your friends clear out of here and leave that woman alone or you're going to have to deal with me'."
Clearly impressed, Saint Peter asks, "When did this happen?"
"About five minutes ago."
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Hey , lets get this thread going again!
December 1st I was driving north on a state highway about 3 miles south of Lake Erie. It was cold, but the sun was shining and there were no cars ahead or behind me. Looking up approximately 300 feet estimated by the height relative to the tallest telephone poles , a large bald eagle was flying and carrying something in its talons. Two large dark birds, I don't know what they were, approached the eagle from the east and west. The eagle dropped what it held, a large fish. I watched it fall the entire distance and land in the road, very bloody with no head. It bounced off to the side of the road very near the driveway of a Honda dealership. I'd guess the fish was a walleye, carp, or sheephead.
I continues north and returned about 15 minutes later. The fish was nowhere to be found. I didn't see anyone else around the site so I assumed the eagle swooped down and retrieved its catch. It made my day.
Go Bucks!
-------------billy
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If you're looking for something off-topic, but nonetheless fun to read, here you go:
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2023?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_farkA whimsical literary competition for the worst possible opening sentences to novels never written
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Any WC Fields fans out there? Not sure? Watch this:
See what you've been missing all these years?
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To get to 25 years and four kids - our role models - found a better one
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zHanwIj7oxw?feature=share
Last edited by Louetta; 01-27-2024, 08:41 PM.
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