Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[riverbabe]

Here we go again

Every year I have an overwhelming compulsion to do this. Please forgive me. Can't help myself.

It's the twenty-fourth of MAY!
It's the Queen's birth-DAY!
If we don't get a holiday
We'll all run a-WAY!

(Thanks to you, Queen Vic. Hah)

[Deaddog]

Every year I have an overwhelming compulsion to do this. Please forgive me. Can't help myself.

It's the twenty-fourth of MAY!
It's the Queen's birth-DAY!
If we don't get a holiday
We'll all run a-WAY!

(Thanks to you, Queen Vic. Hah)

I remember that.
If you lived in Canada you get a holiday. Mind you they move it so that you get a long weekend,
It's now an official stat holiday, day off with pay if you're unionized. Day without government services if your not.
Long Live The Queen!!

[Deaddog]

Drinking & Driving

In British Columbia we have some of the toughest anti drinking and driving laws in North America. If you have over 0.05% alcohol in your bloodstream you could end up with a roadside drivers licence suspension and have your car impounded. Not to mention the fine and increase in auto insurance.

I went out last night and had a few drinks too many. Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have never done before. I took a bus home. It took me right to my doorstep safe and sound, which seemed really surprising, as I had never driven a bus before.

[Skrumpa]

I just got back from a 3 day vacation.......

I'm looking at photos of me and I have put on some pounds.

So starting today.....The gym 6 days a week ( instead of 2 times ) and a diet of 75% fruits and vegis !!!

4 more months till I'm age 50.

Current weight 230LBS

Goal in 1 year from today 175 LBS ( like I was when I was age 34 )

[Peter Hansen]

There Are NO Ugly Women!

There are no ugly women......only fixer uppers! AMAZING

http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/079661.html

[Peter Hansen]

Never argue with a woman!

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

[Karel]

When people ask what you learned today .....

Manure... An interesting fact [...]

Ahem. Consider yourself SNOPED

Regards,

Karel

[billyjoe]

Well I'll be dipped in sh#*!

--------billy

[riverbabe]

Ahem. Consider yourself SNOPED

Regards,

Karel

Darn it to heck!!! Karel, I LOVE YOU!!!

[Peter Hansen]

The Small Head is ALWAYS thinking!

Oh my, so true!







Advice to an Old Guy...



An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym

when he spotted a sweet young thing...



He asked the trainer that was near by "What machine in here should

I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"



The trainer looked him up and down and said;



"I would try the ATM in the lobby".......

[Peter Hansen]

Get a job!!

I have a job. I work, they pay me.



I pay my taxes & the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case,
I am required to pass a random urine test
(with which I have no problem).

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my question:





Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?



Please understand, I have no problem with
helping people get back on their feet.

I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass - doing drugs while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program
"URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!


P.S. Just a thought, but all politicians should have to pass a urine test too!

[Peter Hansen]

All's well that ends well!

http://ideaelevator.co/the-exorcist/

[Peter Hansen]

Afraid? Who me?

The Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over pick-up truck owner Mike Murray for a weapons check because of an NRA bumper sticker. When the officer approached the vehicle, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver's license, insurance card and concealed carry permit.



The officer took all the documents, looked them over and said, "Mr. Murray, I see you have a CCP. Do you have any weapons with you?" The driver replied, "Yes I do. I have a 357 handgun in a hip holster, a .45 in the glove box and a .22 derringer in my boot." The officer looked at Mike and asked, "Anything else?" "Yes. I have a Mossberg 500 12 gauge and an AR-15 in the trunk."



The officer asked if the man was driving to or from a shooting range and the man said he wasn't, so the officer bent over and looked into the driver's face and said "Mr. Murray, you're carrying quite a few guns. May I ask what you are afraid of?" Mike locked eyes with the officer and calmly answered..."Not a fu@%ing thing."

[billyjoe]

There are heroes and then there's this guy. No debating his qualifications.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/who-shot-bin-laden-former-seals-fill-in-the-blanks/2011/05/02/AFgybxcF_story.html

------------billy

[Peter Hansen]

Hope & Change Ya Gotta Love It LOL!

After two years of Obama ... Here's your change!










January 2009
TODAY
% chg
Source

Avg.. Retail price/gallon gas in U.S.
$1.83
$3.95
115.8%
1

Crude oil, European Brent (barrel)
$43..48
$99..02
127.7%
2

Crude oil, West TX Inter. (barrel)
$38..74
$91..38
135.9%
2

Gold: London (per troy oz.)
$853.25
$1,504.50
90.5%
2

Corn, No..2 yellow, Central IL
$3.56
$6.33
78.1%
2

Soybeans, No. 1 yellow, IL
$9.66
$13..75
42.3%
2

Sugar, cane, raw, world, lb. Fob
$13..37
$35..39
164.7%
2

Unemployment rate, non-farm, overall
7.6%
9.4%
23.7%
3

Unemployment rate, blacks
12.6%
15.8%
25.4%
3

Number of unemployed
11,616,000
14,485,000
24.7%
3

Number of fed. Employees
2,779,000
2,840,000
2.2%
3

Real median household income
$50,112
$49,777
-0.7%
4

Number of food stamp recipients
31,983,716
43,200,878
35.1%
5

Number of unemployment benefit recipients
7,526,598
9,193,838
22.2%
6

Number of long-term unemployed
2,600,000
6,400,000
146.2%
3

Poverty rate, individuals
13.2%
14.3%
8.3%
4

People in poverty in U.S.
39,800,000
43,600,000
9.5%
4

U.S.. Rank in Economic Freedom World Rankings
5
9
n/a
10

Present Situation Index
29.9
23.5
-21.4%
11

Failed banks
140
164
17.1%
12

U.S.. Dollar versus Japanese yen exchange rate
89.76
82.03
-8.6%
2

U.S.. Money supply, M1, in billions
1,575.1
1,865.7
18.4%
13

U.S.. Money supply, M2, in billions
8,310.9
8,852.3
6.5%
13

National debt, in trillions
$10..627
$14..052
32.2%
14




Just take this last item: In the last two years we have accumulated national debt at a rate more than 27 times as fast as during the rest of our entire nation's history.
Over 27 times as fast. Metaphorically speaking, if you are driving in the right lane doing 65 MPH and a car rockets past you in the left lane.
27 times faster, it would be doing 7,555 MPH!



Sources:
(1) U.S. Energy Information Administration; (2) Wall Street Journal; (3) Bureau of Labor Statistics; (4) Census Bureau; (5) USDA; (6) U.S. Dept. Of Labor;
(7) FHFA; ( Standard & Poor's/Case-Shiller; (9) RealtyTrac; (10) Heritage Foundation and WSJ; (11) The Conference Board; (12) FDIC;
(13) Federal Reserve; (14) U.S. Treasury



THE PRESIDENCY

SOME WILL APPRECIATE THIS AND SOME WILL NOT.



HOWEVER, ALL OF IT IS TRUE.

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 24 months -- so you'll have one year and ten months to come up with an answer.

Every statement in this email is factual and directly attributable to Barrack Hussein Obama. Every bumble is a matter of record and completely verifiable.