Fun Stuff...Off Topic(O/T)

[riverbabe]

Yeah, right! Cute. River

[IIC]

Yeah, right! Cute. River

Actually, my Dad sent it to me

[IIC]

Interesting Years 1981, 2005

Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died

Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. Pope Died
Lesson Learned? -

The next time Charles gets married, someone warn the Pope .

[Rob]

Doug, I don't know where that info. came from, but no Pope died in 1981.

Paul VI died in 1978.
John Paul I died in 1978.
John Paul II died in 2005.

John Paul II was shot in 1981, but not fatally.

I remember it well. It was less than two months after the attempt on Pres. Reagan's life by Hinkley, and that was less than 4 months after that idiot Chapman murdered John Lennon, and Lennon was shot exactly 49 days after my father died of a massive heart attack. It was a strange time. I hated it.

[IIC]

Doug, I don't know where that info. came from, but no Pope died in 1981.

Paul VI died in 1978.
John Paul I died in 1978.
John Paul II died in 2005.

John Paul II was shot in 1981, but not fatally.

I remember it well. It was less than two months after the attempt on Pres. Reagan's life by Hinkley, and that was less than 4 months after that idiot Chapman murdered John Lennon, and Lennon was shot exactly 49 days after my father died of a massive heart attack. It was a strange time. I hated it.

Well...If it makes you feel any better I just sent a scathing email to the person who sent it to me...lol

[billyjoe]

Doug, I don't know where that info. came from, but no Pope died in 1981.

Paul VI died in 1978.
John Paul I died in 1978.
John Paul II died in 2005.

John Paul II was shot in 1981, but not fatally.

I remember it well. It was less than two months after the attempt on Pres. Reagan's life by Hinkley, and that was less than 4 months after that idiot Chapman murdered John Lennon, and Lennon was shot exactly 49 days after my father died of a massive heart attack. It was a strange time. I hated it.

Rob,
You're right another time of mass insanity hit us like in '68 with Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy. I hope it never happens again , but am probably foolish to believe it won't. Was on my way to D.C. on a high school field trip when Kennedy died . Will always remember the flowers covering his senate desk when we got there.My classmates voted to go see 2001 a space odyssey rather than see the funeral train arrive.

-----------billyjoe

[Rob]

Memories of Horrific Events (Not "Fun Stuff" But Off-topic)

[. . .] another time of mass insanity hit us like in '68 with Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy.

I don't remember where I was when Bobby was killed. I do remember I was at a friend's house in San Jose, CA when King was assassinated. I even remember the friend's name: it was Mark DiCaro. (Hey Mark ... if you ever google your name and find this message, get in touch! )

I remember exactly where I was when J.F.K. was assassinated too: I was in the 1st grade at Bowers Elementary School in Santa Clara, CA. We all had these little pads we had to bring from home; they were like 2' x 4' pieces of carpet that we rolled up and stuck in little cubby holes, and we would pull them out at certain times of the day for "nap time" and roll 'em out on the asbestos-filled linoleum tile floor. (Do they still do that any more?) Anyway it was during one of these nap times that someone came to the door and had the teacher, Mrs. Niemann, step outside, and they told her that Pres. Kennedy had been shot in Dallas. I remember her reaction. I wouldn't exactly call it hysterical but pretty close to it. I think we all got to go home early that day.

[IIC]

Are you Billionaire Material???

http://www.forbes.com/2006/03/08/billionaire-becoming-one_06billionaires_quiz.html

I scored a 62=Rich but not enough to crck the Forbes 400

[jiesen]

Are you Billionaire Material???

http://www.forbes.com/2006/03/08/billionaire-becoming-one_06billionaires_quiz.html

I scored a 62=Rich but not enough to crck the Forbes 400

I got a 68. I guess Bill Gates will get to stay on top a while longer...

[riverbabe]

How to place new employees in the organization

HOW TO PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES IN THE ORGANIZATION:

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.

2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.

3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

4. Then analyze the situation:


-------------

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department.

b. If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.

c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.

d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.

e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.

f. If they are sleeping, put them in security.

g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in information technology.

h. If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.

i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in sales.

j. If they have already left for the day, put them in marketing.

k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in strategic planning.

l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

[jiesen]

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchasedhis lovely wife a pocket Taser for their
anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for
a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt,

pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no

long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought
it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the
button.

Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed
the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time;
I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the
prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot
is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with his new
toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two
triple-A batteries right?!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that
I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to
give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,

I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in onehand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference;

pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad..

I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ……………………………..
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples onfire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before,
licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-... that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there???

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 10lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

[IIC]

Cool J...I never did that...But I got pepper sprayed once...OUCH...Problem was...I accidently sprayed myself in the face when I didn't notice that the nozzle was backwards

[Websman]

I had to take a 5 second hit with a Taser for training...It hurt....bad. It took a few minutes to get back on my feet.

[Lyehopper]

I had to take a 5 second hit with a Taser for training...It hurt....bad. It took a few minutes to get back on my feet.

I've got a cattle prod that'll get a stubborn 2000 pound bulls attention right quick.... We call em "hot sticks"....

Don't think they're effective? Just ask "Ol Kahalid..... His hair used to be fixed all nice and straight, now look at it.....LOL!

[Lyehopper]

Cool J...I never did that...But I got pepper sprayed once...OUCH...Problem was...I accidently sprayed myself in the face when I didn't notice that the nozzle was backwards

And you wonder why you'll never be a billionaire....SssSssSssss!