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I'm not really a gun person but I like American history and find this very interesting. have never heard about this until now.
-----------billy
-----------billy
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Billie Interesting report
Billie nice report! ThaNXOriginally posted by billyjoe View PostI'm not really a gun person but I like American history and find this very interesting. have never heard about this until now.
-----------billyComment
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WOW ROUGH MARKET TODAY....Joke Time!
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could
buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have
another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's
have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go
to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and
I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk
again."
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters
a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall .
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's
no paper on this side either!"
Subject: old farmer and nagging wife
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From
morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about
something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with
his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the
field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began
to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again.
Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught
her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something
rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would
listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner
approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in
disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old
farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and
asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook
his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say
something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd
nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."Comment
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"Are my testicles black?"
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A male patient is
lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour,surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge
bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask.
"Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young
nurse replies "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body"
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing
wrong with them, Sir.
The man pulls off his oxygen
mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very
closely......
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?Comment
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Drinking And An Irishman!
Never , and I mean NEVER question an Irishman's ability to drink!
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”
The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”Comment
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A dead woman tells many tales
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi, Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere, that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer first...we'd both still be alive!!!!
PRICELESSComment
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hahhahahahahahahah Thanks Pete. That's a good one.Best,
Steel
It's time to Grab the Bull by the Horns!Comment
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Tide And The Happy Housewife!
HARASSED WIFE WRITES TO TIDE
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all
of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I
am in my fifties I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about
how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new
white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative. To my
surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains
came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA
tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that
I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.Comment
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Pete,
Now your scaring me.
-------------billyComment
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The Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to
the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"
asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change
in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"
"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."Comment
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Love it, Pete!
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Slick!
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women from the local college skinny-dipping in his pond.
He said "hi" so as not to scare them and to make them aware of his presence, and they all swam over to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out of this pond until after you leave."
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked....'
Holding the bucket up, he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'
Some dirty old men can still think pretty fast.Comment
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Jokes
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow
This could be considered THE ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy.
A picture of his wife on the milk cartonComment
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An incredible future awaits for us!
Absolutely incredible advances coming down the pike.....Think Positive Think The Future and Super days ahead!
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The Year of your birth .......SLICK
Interesting ....Just enter year of your birth!
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